Originally uploaded by tallasiandude.
Ok, I got too serious and busted out the old Rapidograph Koh-I-Noor set and india ink today. Which may have been a mistake, because along with them came the old indecision, self-doubt and uncertainty. I got to the point where I should just suck it up and try something and see what happened, but instead I got stuck.
All the positive feedback went to my head. Only the best for my viewing public! Too worried about disappointing people. About disappointing myself.
I couldn't finish it for fear of "ruining it."
So in its stead, I present to you: "unfinished fish" and "fish experiments." (Yes, there's definitely a fish theme going on -- you might even see the original seed which spawned the drawing from Day 2.) Hopefully I'll settle down and finish it later this month.
Oy. Bedtime.
4 comments:
Oh my goodness ... I have a set of old Rapid-o-graph pens!! Time to pull them out.
Ugh ... make that 'had.' I went rushing over to where I thought I had them, then realized that I probably threw them out during the big clean-out when the boyfriend moved in two years ago. I remember I had them all taken apart and cleaned, too ... I had used them for years at my graphics job (pre-desktop publishing ... hey, no snickering, I'm only 44!). That was when you had to draw on vellum (or board), run the type through a photopraphic process, and run it through a waxer to get wax on the back. Of course, if you got any wax on the area where you had to ink, you were jazzed ... that's why Bestine became my best friend. And you're probably way too young to know what I'm talking about.
Anyway ... I may have to add a set of Rapid-o-graphs to my Christmas wish list now.
Love the fish tests. Just breathe and pick up again, and pretend none of us are out here (hee hee!)
heh, yeah i understand that feeling. it's hard to turn off the judging chatter. but don't let it hold you back. give yourself permission to make crap. that helps me sometimes. :–)
Oh boy do I know that feeling! Isn't it funny how some of our best work is done with ordinary pencils in the margins of regular paper from notes taken at classes or meetings? This moment of clarity came to me one night in grad school. I was studying costume design and had a big class design project due the next day and couldn't get it on paper. Finally, after an all night vigil of trying to draw bodies, I got so frustrated I scribbled stuff on scraps of paper, but still couldn't get it onto the watercolor paper for the rendering. Time ran out and I had to get to class...so I just took the scribbles to class to show for the critique. Everyone thought it was the best work I ever did. Go figure..on scrap paper! What is it that holds us hostage when we use "good" inks, paper, paints, etc? Why does that stiffle creativity.
But...I love your fish! Come back to it later, it will work itself out. ---jackie
Hmmm. I wonder if you might try experimenting with leaving it as is? One thing I struggle with in life, including my art, is my discomfort with not knowing, incompletion, lack of control. To be able to "be with" these states, to accept and even welcome them, allows for a powerful internal shift of perspective. But you can only discover it by "sitting with" the situation. Not a lecture... just a thought. As for the piece, I see a quality in it's unfinished state that I like. The "ghost fish" in the background, the spareness of the drawing, gives it a surreal effect. But in the end, you CREATED and that's the best part. I'm so glad you are.
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