I wanted to get this posted last night, but I was already up late (ugh, 2AM) finishing it and then the camera batteries died, so I figured that was the sign telling me to go to bed. Talking to the SOOTTAD a little after midnight and having her tell me I should get to bed soon isn't enough. No, I have to listen to camera batteries. I probably shouldn't have been up so late anyway, but I felt the need to finish this one and get it out and onto paper.
I think I briefly mentioned that things had been a little rough in our last class of the day on Sunday. There was conflict. There was drama. And it had left me drained, aggravated and on edge. I was still experiencing shakes when I got into my car and drove home. Later that night when I recounted the events to the SOOTTAD, I found my body going through the same physiological responses that I had experienced in class. Muscles constricting, heartrate going up, a slightly sick feeling of agitation -- a vibration starting in my chest working its way to a dull buzz in my brain.
The experience is always real, even when it's only in your head.
So anyway, I thought I might be able to channel some of this into a drawing, get it onto paper and out of my head. Ironically, as I dipped into the experience to compose the picture in my head, the feelings would creep right back into the present. Perhaps that's why there was this strange urgency to finish it last night. I wanted to get it out so I could move on.
Anyway, I wanted to take a moment to thank all of you for all the wonderful feedback. I've found this experience to be really good for me (sleep-deprivation notwithstanding) -- it's been a while since I've challenged my creative side and I've always* struggled with whether I was ever any good at anything. And yet despite the difficulties with this challenge, it's been such a welcoming and nurturing environment that I can't help but try to do what I set out to do at the start of this thing, and to try and do my very best.
So again, thank you all.
* Interestingly, when I think about it for a moment, I don't think this was always the case. I have very clear memories of drawing when I was little -- 4, 5, 6, elementary/primary school -- I fancied myself an artist back in the day. I'm not sure what happened. I think sometime around high school I realized that all my friends were all better than me at something... and together they were all better than me at everything. And I guess it's kinda been that way every since.
Half the battle, I guess.
6 comments:
That is EXCELLENT, tallasiandude! I opened it up larger, and the detail is amazing. Love all the different 'textures' you created with your pen. Great.
wow! this is so cool! very dark. love it. are you using pens to do this or a bottle of ink with a tool?
Incredible - look at the power in there - though the poor head its in seems to be struggling and no surprise!
I'm using a Rapidgraph Koh-I-Noor pen (size 1, 0.50mm nib), which is a obfuscated way of saying "yes, I'm using a pen and a bottle of ink."
Is that completely unhelpful?
your talent exudes off the page! i'm impressed!
One thing I like about this (and there are many) is the ambiguity of the person's head. It could be the person is facing down, trying to protect himself from the storm-bringer. It could just as likely be the person is facing up, open to the storm, and the storm-bringer is drawing something out from him. Damn fine work!
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