175/365 Adverse Conditions

175/365 Adverse Conditions
Originally uploaded by tallasiandude.

The cherry tree out back has always had it a little rough.

There's some kind of pest that mangles the leaves.

Perhaps a different one attacks the immature fruit.

The squirrels get at much of what little fruit actually gets produced.

And then, there's the slugs in the grass.

More now with this long period of terrible weather: gray, wet and rainy. I think the last time I was out in the sun might have been in Cleveland. (I think I was sick on the one sunny day last week.)

It's a wonder we get any cherries at all. Oh wait, we haven't gotten any cherries. Nevermind.

156/365 More Places

156/365 More Places
Originally uploaded by tallasiandude.

...to get stranded. (I actually spent most of the time stuck at Logan airport in Boston.)

It was a rough trip out to the tournament in Canada this weekend. My direct flight to Buffalo was canceled, and then I got hit with several weather delays resulting in missed connections. I think I ended up getting booked on a total of 5 different flights.

I finally got into Buffalo, NY sometime after midnight, and ended up staying in a hotel and driving the rest of the way to Fergus, ON in the morning. All told, it took me over 7 hours to get there, which is a little longer than it would have taken if I had just driven. (There being Buffalo -- it was another 2-1/2 hours of driving to Fergus after maybe 4-1/2 hours of sleep.)

New and Old

New and Old
Originally uploaded by tallasiandude.

New glasses.

I took a bunch of self-portraits to try and catch my new "hip" look, but the whole exercise kind of left me kind of down 'cause I could see the old. (this is actually one of the more benign ones.) It's creeping in from the edges. Trying to sneak up on me. But I can see it. I can see it in my face. I can see where it's going.

I look old. Or I feel like I look old. (And tired, too. Old and tired.) And paradoxically, I feel old, and yet I feel like I look older than I feel. Parse that one.

Anyway, it's all kind of a drag. This was actually going to be my photo for the day, but in the end I discovered that I liked how one of the other photos looked. Admittedly, because to some extent, I didn't like seeing the aging in myself.

And, of course, I should be working right now (not to mention doing a little drawing), so perhaps I'll just leave it at that.

the little things

Originally uploaded by tallasiandude.

First real snowstorm last night, not counting the appetizer of light snow and freezing rain on Wednesday.

We had hunkered down in the attic watching movies on TV when our doorbell rang. We couldn't figure out who would be at the door at 10PM during a winter storm; turned out to be two kids offering to shovel our walkway for 10 bucks. First time that's happened. Anyway, happy to pay it, but you'd hardly know there'd been any such youthful entrepreneurs working the neighborhood as it hasn't stopped snowing since. I ended up spending about 2 hours myself this afternoon going over the walks again as well as hitting the driveway, cleaning off the cars, and digging out the side path.

Shoveling isn't so bad though. Good to get outside. Had some tunes. And was treated to near perfect snowflakes landing on my jacket and gloves when I took breaks to catch my breath and let my fingers thaw out a little.

Still, December has been a rough month. I've actually been meaning to write up a November update, but I've been busy with various projects (work and personal) and twitter and Facebook have provided sufficient outlet for me to dump what's been on my mind that I haven't found the need to carve out some time to write here.

Anyway, December. First weekend of the month: a new client... that I don't think I'll be seeing again. Not a good fit, and frankly, a little creepy.

Went to a frisbee tournament in Vegas and badly sprained my ankle only a few points into the first game. (reconstructing events, apparently another player stepped on my foot as I was going up for a D) Sidelined me for the whole weekend. (and then some -- got X-rays yesterday to confirm no broken bones, but it's actually more sore now that I'm wrapping it as advised by the nurse practitioner, and still a bit swollen and purpley.) Vegas is not a good place for a leg injury; everything is convoluted, as well as huge and far apart. I also lost more money than I care to admit to the internet, and I lost my voice. (which seems to be the manifestation of some kind of cold, although I don't have any other symptoms besides the voice and some throat/sinus congestion.)

Back home, the cat seemed to manifest more old and low energy. Plus, cat pee all over the basement. The SOOTTAD thought that he just missed me while I was away, and I'm sure forgetting to remind her about scooping the litterbox didn't help. All peeing aside, his condition has seemed to take a noticeable turn for the worse in recent weeks. And much worse after my weekend away. We had conveniently already scheduled a vet appointment Thursday for his annual checkup, but it only confirmed the worst: renal failure as well as anemia. the vet doesn't expect him to last past next week. Not sure what else to say about that. IV treatments are an option, but not expected to help much. Plus we don't want to add any more trauma to the kitty seeing as how badly he was doing after the vet visit.

We're spoiling him rotten at the moment. Carrying him to the litterbox. Treats when he's up. Lots of snuggles if we can do it without disturbing him too much. [I swear that's the only reason why we got out of bed at noon today.]

It actually seems like a good thing that we dropped the ball on getting tickets out to CA since it means we can spend more time with him and doesn't make us have to rush any ... decisions ... that we don't want to go rushing into. He actually seems to be doing a bit better than he was doing the day after the vet visit, but he's still clearly not doing well.

So anyway, it's been a rough December so far. Ups and downs, but mostly downs. It's the volatility that is the indicator of problems, or at least that's how I understand it. And there are things that will probably make it that much worse, but hopeful the little things will help us get through it. At least the SOOTTAD and I are together this time around. As much as it'll suck, we'll get through it together.

And for the record, it's still snowing. We'll just try to think about the snowflakes.

Not like I planned it

Just like it always is. Or at least that's how it always feels -- poor framing or otherwise. I'd like to think that I've outgrown the penchant towards a negative outlook, and frankly, when it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and shits on your head like a duck, you might benefit from a little perspective, but you've still got shit on your head.

Today's whiny bitch is brought to you by the letter M, for marathon training. And maybe the letter T, for thwarted. It's less than two weeks until the marathon and I'm now sick for the second time in as many weeks. I missed my 20-miler two weeks ago, and had made some adjustments to my training plan to make the best of the remaining time I had, and after a tougher than expected 15 mile run on Sunday, I realized that it was tougher than expected because I was getting sick again.

So I'm back to lowering my expectations for this race. A practice that I feel I am far too familiar. In my original plans, I was gunning for a 3:20 marathon -- a Boston qualifying time for the 40-44 age bracket. It was a stretch goal, but it was a goal. I tempered my expectations, but that plan was pretty much toast when I got bronchitis/sinusitis and was out for 3 weeks in the middle of the summer. By the time I could actually run a decent distance without feeling like complete and total crap, it was the end of August.

So I readjusted my expectations. Dialed it back. And I was actually feeling pretty good a few weeks ago. I had a series of long runs (18-20 miles) that actually felt...GOOD. And then I got sick again. That was 2 weeks ago.

Readjust the expectations. Now shooting for sub-4, maybe even hit 3:40. Try to get the legs back at the end of last week and into the weekend. And here I am again, wondering whether I'll be well enough to even run the race at all.

And I wonder if I'm supposed to learn something from this. If this is some kind of messsage.

Quit.

Accept your limits.

A lack of success doesn't equal failure.

It's the journey not the destination.

But I feel like I've got a pretty good handle on all of that. And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of lowering my expectations. I'm sick of being disappointed. I'm sick of being pragmatic, of trying to look at things with some perspective. I'm tired of giving up and telling myself it's okay.

I said I was going to run a marathon. And I'll probably be pissed if I finish slower than 3:50, but I'd probably be more pissed if I had to keep training for another 6 months so that I could run a marathon next Spring. So goddammit, I'm going to run a fucking marathon, even if I end up running 9s or 10s.

Quit? (Y/N)
N

The problem with the plan

So I've mentioned that I was planning on running a marathon this October. And I finally signed up for the Cape Cod Marathon on the 26th, just to make sure I actually had a race to run in. drive a stake in the ground. Training was actually going pretty well through early June, even though I had blown off a half-marathon in May that I was going to use as training. It was all cool.

And then I got sick. Probably the worst I've felt in years.

And so I've been carefully trying to get myself back into game shape, or race shape, I should say. This week felt like a major accomplishment -- morning runs 5 out of the last 6 days, a long run over 11 miles (the first long run in double digits since before I was sick) and over 33 miles total for the week. It actually felt like a real training week for the first time in ages. And I didn't feel like total crap after any of the runs.

So that's good -- I finally feel like I'm ready to get myself back onto a real training plan.

And so I've taken a look through one of my books, gone back to a few of the websites I was looking at before I started this whole business.

And it looks like I'm well and truly screwed.

I'm just under 9 weeks away from the race, and most training plans I've looked at had me running 20 mile runs by now, if not 3-4 weeks ago. I know I'm not qualifying for Boston, but I'd still like to actually *run* a marathon, not just finish it. So at the moment I'm struggling with whether I just stick with the gradual mileage ramp-up and peak at whatever I peak at 2-3 weeks before the race, or try to ramp more quickly to get the miles in but keep the tempos down and be more careful about giving myself enough rest between runs. I'm not convinced either approach is necessarily going to be a good idea.

It feels like things always seem to be more difficult than planned*. I figured that this marathon training thing should have been straightforward, if not easy. I knew it was going to be work, but it wasn't supposed to get so... complicated. It keeps making me wonder whether SOMEBODY out there is trying to tell me to just cut it out and sit my ass down.

Bah.

* I know that at heart, I AM kind of idealistic, but I'm not supposed to be that positive, optimistic guy. I'm supposed to be pragmatic. Realistic. Pessimistic. Plan conservatively. Maybe I've changed. Or maybe it's just overconfidence when it comes to physical activities. Like when people heckle pro athletes or watch action movies and think that they could be all heroic and shit.

Why I hate Facebook

Facebook: Hey! A friend wants to share a book with you! Click here to see!
Me: Uh, thanks... what's the book?
FB: Hang on, just sign up for this application!
Me: Huh? Ok, fine. [clicking Add] So what's the book?
FB: Wait, look at all of your friends who aren't using this application yet! Why don't you let me infect I mean, invite them to use it too!
Me: Um, no... [clicking Skip] so, think you could tell me what book that was?
FB: Hey, do you like any of these books?
Me: C'mon, quit it. [clicking Skip] Ok, so what was that book?
FB: Thanks! Hey, here are all the great features for this application!
Me: Alright, already! What was the fucking book?!
FB: [crickets]
Me: um, hello?
FB: [more crickets]
Me: Ok, this says recommendations, maybe you put it under there? [clicking Recommendations]
FB: Sorry, we do not have any recommendations for you.
Me: DELETED.

Fucking facebook.

Context

I'm working from home right now.

This is generally a good thing -- easy commute, less distracting hallway chatter, comfortable surroundings (not over air-conditioned, or air-conditioned at all, really), no interrupts from coworkers or the boss.

Quite good, actually... if it weren't Saturday.

square zero

Hey.

So, I've basically been sick for something like three out of the last four weeks. Sinusitis and bronchitis, according to the doctor. At a follow-up appointment last week, he now tells me that he thinks I have acid reflux (which is making my cough persist) and asthma. He's recommending that I start taking a daily dose of Prilosec and regular shots from a Albuterol inhaler.

Needless to say, this is news to me. Also needless to say, I'm not particularly happy with his diagnosis.

Since then, I've gone to the acupuncture clinic and have been trying to just rest and give my body a chance to recover. It's been a week, and I'm feeling like the cough is getting a little better, but I'm going to give the Prilosec a shot for a week, just to see whether it makes a difference or not. I'm not thrilled about being on a regular regimen of meds, but we'll see how it goes. My hope is that it will clear things up to allow my body to heal, and then I can go back to business as usual and let my body take care of itself.

Anyway, the upshot of this is that my marathon training got completely derailed. I'm still hopeful that I'll be able to get back on track and be ready to go by October, but things really aren't where I'd like them to be right now.

I figured it'd be a slow start, but my first run the Sunday before last wasn't promising. 3 miles. started at 8-1/2 minute miles, finished closer to 10 when my heart rate hit 176, which, for the record, is higher than when I was trying to test my max heart rate by doing 300m uphill sprints. Granted, it's been hot and humid, but I don't think it accounted for all of it. I've since played a little frisbee (and aggravated the hamstring) and had a disappointing "long and slow" 5.5 mile run, that was supposed to be more like 6.5 miles but was cut short because my knee started hurting after striding up a short uphill.

Bah.

It's worse than square one. It's square zero. A friend thinks that it's just residue from the sick, and when I'm *really* back at 100%, the endurance and stamina will come back with it. I have a few other friends who also think I should be able to get back on track.

Hope so. There is at least one guy who thinks I'm screwed (and believe it or not, it's not me), but I am ignoring him at this time.

So I'm clearly not going to be running the marathon for time. Which makes me wonder whether I should put Marine Corps Marathon back on the table for consideration. It's supposed to be kind of a clusterfuck because there are so many people, but if I'm not worried about trying to finish in 3:20:59, maybe it'll be more interesting than running one of the quieter races. It also has the benefit of giving me an extra 2 weeks for training, which is not the worst thing ever.

Hopefully they won't close open registration before I make a decision. Too bad it's already sold out.

Have I mentioned, bah?

UPDATE: just signed up for the Cape Cod Marathon. Just in case. Poking around, Long Beach is looking somewhat appealing except that I'm not all that excited to travel (cost, and time, and well, the stress of travel these days), even if it is near home base.

Fuck.

RIP George Carlin.

[we'll see how long that video lasts on YouTube.]

Thanks, man.

"We're number one, so you can just suck it"

Sorry folks. I'm only back to rant about Verizon.

I was already annoyed that their voicemail system seems to have gotten flakey recently (have you received a message indicator for a voicemail a week after the original message was left?) but the events over the last few days have me pretty ticked at this point

Ironically, I just upgraded our home service mere hours before this, and even during that process, I was getting myself incremental frustrated and angry.

We have FiOS internet. We've been pretty happy with it. We have a 20/5 plan, or 20Meg download, 5Meg upload plan for about $50.

Rather than burn minutes on her work cell to call clients, the SOOTTAD has been using our home phone which has an unlimited minutes plan with Vonage. (Whoo VONAGE! We <3 Vonage.) This was a reasonable solution until the clients started calling the house because they had the number from their caller ID. Clients calling the home number is unacceptable so we've started looking into picking up a second phone line. Enter Verizon FiOS that has been aggressively pushing their service bundles. (generally with somebody calling or stopping by the house at least once a week for as long as we've been living in this house.)

Anyway, Verizon suffers from the same problems as all the other providers (read Comcast and RCN) in that it is virtually impossible to find out how much the services cost short of signing up for the service or dealing with a customer service rep on the phone. So I ended up digging around online looking for prices through our Verizon account, only to discover that they had raised the price of our internet connection to $57.99.

Um, hey. That's not cool.

I eventually found an email (sent to an account I never wanted, and that I never check because it's been full of spam since day 1) that notified me of the change of price.

Lovely.

Seeing as I still hadn't found the fee structure for the bundled services, I called them up, so I could then ask them how SOL I was about the new price. Only to discover that I was actually going to be $65.99 because I hadn't signed a new contract.

Proof that we're a captive audience is reflected in the fact that 2 days later, I've actually signed up for a 1-year contract for Internet, Phone and Cable. Yes Cable. We're getting Cable TV, god help us, complete with HD DVR. We are so screwed. And not just by Verizon. It works out to a decent deal as a bundle, especially since we're getting an extra $5/month discount, effectively $50 for internet, $25 for phone and $50 for cable. We'll see how the year goes, and decided whether or not we want to ditch it. (especially if they decide to raise rates again.)

So fine, done is done.

Except that I just looked through my most recent Verizon Wireless bill, and was struck by the $14 charge for text messaging, which seemed like I lot since I only pay $0.10 a message.

Except that I don't. Apparently I missed it when they raised it to $0.20.

Except that I really missed the boat, because apparently they raised it to $0.15 over a year ago. I guess we were a little busy.

I can't help but feel like there's something illegal about raising your rates when you're under contract, but I'm not sure what I can do about it.

I'm going to have to figure something out. Hopefully things won't be too busy that it'll drop under the radar again.

Visit to Consumerland

I was never fond of listening to music while running. My early attempts to do so in college aptly demonstrated my tendency to follow the rhythms and tempos of what I was listening to -- helpful in dancing, not so much when you're trying to maintain an even pace or a regular cadence on a run. And it wasn't just a problem of making me run too slow or too fast, it could actually mess up the rhythm of my breathing and give me cramps.

No, not helpful at all.

And while I like being able to tune out of my brain, I also enjoy tuning in to the world around me -- the birds, the crunching of gravel or leaves on a trail, wind, water. Not to mention the advantage of hearing the traffic barreling up behind you.

But when I decided to train for a half-marathon a few years ago, and facing the prospect of regular runs of more than an hour (not to mention finally sucking it up and running at the gym), I thought it might be time to reconsider. Thankfully, I found that with the slower tempos of the long runs, I was able to just cruise along without significant trouble, mostly. A few songs would get me going, but overall it didn't mess with my head too much.

At the time, I was using a moderately crappy Rio sport mp3 player with a 512MB card in it. It got the job done, mostly, but on particularly cold days it would decide to hard fail in a fairly unpleasant manner. More recently, I've been borrowing the SOOTTAD's iPod, but it's hers, and it has her tunes and playlists on it (which are excellent, btw) and it's a bit bulkier than I'd prefer to carry or stick in a pocket and, well, it'd rather not keeping sweating all over it, or worse, possibly break it.

All that to say, I finally sucked it up and decided to buy an iPod for myself.

Price and features finally hit the right spot for me. The new iPod shuffles have 2GB of storage and are comfortably under $100. I originally tried to get one on Amazon, which afforded me an additional $5 in saving. (not to mention the *cough*absence of sales tax*cough*) The listing said the average shipping time was 1-3 weeks, but I wasn't in any particular hurry, and I was trying to maximize my value with that WHOLE FIVE DOLLARS OFF.

Just under 3 weeks later, and I notice while checking the status that the current shipping time has now been updated to 1-2 months. I think to myself suckers! good thing I ordered mine 3 weeks ago... until I get the email saying that my deliver date has been pushed back to end of April/mid-May.

Ok... Fine. I'll go to the Apple store.

I'm planning on being in the Natick area over the weekend, so I check online to see if there's a store there, since the only one I'd personally stumbled on in my own travels was the one in the Burlington Mall. For those unfamiliar with Natick, I have numerous acquaintances who tell me that there isn't a national retail chain that *isn't* in Natick. And, lo and behold, I find a listing for a store in Natick that, according to Apple's website, is near some place called the "Natick Connection."

Basically, it's a giant mall. (Actually, it's the old Natick Mall, but I guess having the word "mall" in the name of your mall is just so...Mall-ish.) I'll just say it was kind of overwhelming. I found the parking lot (with "premium" section, several multileveled structures, secondary roads with rotaries, backed up with traffic, a large proportion made up of SUVs) to be kind of a clusterfuck. The mall itself is quite upscale, and clearly benefits from having some thought put into its design -- nice open space with seating, the contours of a walking path through fake, abstracted birch trees, handicap access, "family" bathrooms. But oy. Nice aesthetics, but all I could see was BUY! BUY! BUY! And crowds... the crowds on a random Saturday afternoon. I guess I just don't get out much.

Anyway, I wandered through the mall, getting my bearings. Got to the Apple store, poked around a bit -- probably the first time I've actually spent any real time in one. (Ironically, wearing an Apple hat that the SOOTTAD got me when she was doing work for Apple.) Checked out the new Air (managed to only disconnect the power (connected magnetically) when I picked it up, as opposed to the guy across from me who set off the alarm when he accidentally pulled out the USB connection they use for security) then got to the back of the store to get the iPod. They keep them in a drawer behind the Genius Bar.

I skipped the $40 extended warranty, figuring that the incremental cost of buying a new one would be comparable in price. (there's that disposable world thinking again.) $72.45. I pay by credit card. I hand him the card, he swipes it, he hands it back, asks if I want a receipt (to which I say "yes," though it can be emailed to me -- cool) and then hands it to me.

I feel like I missed a step: there was no signature needed.

This can become more and more common these days. I've been to a number of places that have minimums of either $20 or $50 before you need a signature. Conveniently, I think that's commonly been the deductable if you discover fraudulent charges on your credit card statement. But I was surprised that it wasn't necessary for something over 50 bucks. Are they just taking into account the devaluation of the dollar or something?

I was thinking about it on the drive home -- I guess it's not that crazy given the frequency we pay at the pump with just a swipe, or buy stuff online with just an expiration date and occasionally the extra magic number thing on the back of the card these days. There's a certain level of security and trust that's built into the system now. I'm sure they could track you if you tried to buy a bunch of stuff and then claim it wasn't you -- shipping records, IP addresses, calls monitored for quality assurance, what have you.

But, how do you prove that you *didn't* buy something? Both the SOOTTAD and another friend of ours had that problem when their credit card numbers were stolen. And while they both got the charges reversed, there was still a lot of bullshit with shipping charges for returns or lost stock. (we still have two packages of vitamins that we never ordered.)

And reason that this kind of thing is on my mind? (other than that this stuff is always on my mind to a certain extent.) Well, there's this:

Yarp, my credit card information has been compromised AGAIN. That's twice in 6 months. And of course, now I get to change all my auto-billpays. AGAIN. I kind of want to call Citibank to see if they can tell me who keeps losing their credit card data, so I can STOP USING THEM.

So that's one. The other has to do with our phone service. We switched to Vonage over a year ago. Love it. Emails when there's a voicemail. No extra long distance charges. We moved and all we did was plug the phone adapter into the new network and we were good to go. Awesome.

When we switched over, I cancelled the service with Verizon and that was the last I ever thought about it.

Until last month.

Last month, when I got a statement from my old long distance carrier.

Did I mention that I liked Vonage because there were no long distance charges?

So somehow a call, made through Vonage, someone found it's way to the billing system for a third party company. No problems -- I called the long distance carrier and they reversed the charges. When it happened again this month, they reversed the charges and deleted all the records of my closed account. I also called Vonage this time around, just so they'd have a record of it. Verizon, maybe? Dunno.

But it sure gives me warm fuzzies inside. How 'bout you?

The Right Foot and Mr. Crankypants

I thought I got off on the right foot this morning -- I woke up without much effort by around 6:45AM and lazily got up around 7AM to get ready for my run.

Not a bad start really. Especially considering yesterday's rude awakening to the alarm at 7:30AM (I almost never use an alarm) -- a gym workout, an overall zombie day at the office with a tic developing in my left eye late in the afternoon. I only made it through a late-evening massage session with the aid of a 30-minute power nap in the comfy chair.

A lot to do today, though. Laundry, dirty dishes, errands, packing. And, of course, work. But I'm getting a massage this afternoon and some friends are getting together after work so there are a few things to look forward to.

And no problems this morning. Things seemed grand...

...and that lasted for all of maybe an hour, or about halfway through the run.

A bit under 6.4 miles today; I figured I'd bump up the tempo a bit to push that "lactic threshold." Perhaps, a mistake. A little too ambitious. I ran out of gas about halfway through mile 5. (Note to self: let's try working on starting slow and hitting negative splits next time, m'kay?)

It was also cold this morning. The numbers didn't suggest anything unusual (27°F), but maybe because I was running harder, it just felt worse than it normally did. Or maybe because it was still kinda dark. (I'm pretty sure the sun was supposed to be up, but it seemed pretty gray.) So at the end of the run, my head was cold. It actually kind of hurt. Blargh.

Stretched, the core-strengthening thing (I was actually doing the plank variation to help the hamstring), shower, breakfast, then work.

No wait, I tried to sync my GPS to download info from the run...and my computer wouldn't recognize the device anymore.

Computer: What is this thing? Whatever you are, you DEAD to me.
Me: Dude, this worked, like, 2 days ago. WTF?

Microsoft troubleshoot failed to find the problem for the millionth time. (Has anyone EVER successfully gotten a problem resolved using this POS piece of software?) It ended up forcing a reboot of the machine. And then it's all kittens and puppies again.

Computer: Oh, hi GPS! How's it going? Wassup? Where ya been?
Me: *sigh*

Ok, I can sync my GPS now. After the reboot, Windows takes the volume control icon off my taskbar. (This is an on-going problem.) I go into the control panel and put it back in by "removing" it and then replacing it. It gets old, but at least it still works. Sort of.

And THEN work.

And then, some belly unhappiness which has been creeping around the edges since I finished the run. Gastro-intestinal distress. It's been a while since I've had this problem after a run. *sigh* Probably again with the running harder than usual and the cold weather.

Not too much progress with work -- a bit stressed, actually, trying to get things done before heading out of town tomorrow. But finally got some momentum after moving downstairs for a change of scenery. Somehow I seem to work better in the kitchen or at the dining table. (better writing surface? Better light? Dunno.)

Stressed and getting cranky. I bag the get together, head out to run errands and get the massage. I hit 5 of 5 red lights on the way to Petco, and 5 of 6 on the way to the massage.

Pause.

Exhale.

Yay, massage.

Highly recommended. All the craziness seems like yesterday.

It's a fresh start.

A new day.

I'm putting things into perspective -- if I hadn't hit all those red lights, I would have been crazy-early to my appointment. I had no issues at Petco. The craziness forced allowed me to pick my priorities, decommit so I had time to deal with the important things.

I'm in and out of Trader Joe's in maybe 10 minutes. Feeling good. Efficient. Thinking about the work problem I've been puzzling over -- I think I can be productive. This'll be awesome.

I grab the grocery bag in one hand, the small case of cat food balanced on the bucket of cat litter in the other. Close the trunk. Nice. Efficient.

And three steps later, all the cat food is on the sidewalk.

Calm.

I over-committed. That's a lesson. We're cool. Bring the other stuff in. Go back out and collect the cat food.

Sit down at the computer and...

Why is the computer off?
don't worry, it's just because you set the power mode to hibernate after prolonged inactivity.

Ok, cool. Um, so why is that amber light lit up?
La, la, la, not listening... just turn the computer back on. It'll be fine!

Um, it just shut itself off again.
WTF?!

Dude, you're supposed to be the calm one here.
...

So, apparently... apparently the outlet I used for the computer is dead. So I'll just go and grab an extension cord and plug it in over here and it'll be ...

Ok, so my computer performed a hard shutdown.

...

Well, at least the auto-save should mean that I won't lose too much work.

Hello?

Auto-save?

Remember auto-save? Piece-of-shit auto-save that interrupts my work half the time? WTF is the recovery file that you keep auto-saving?!

Computer: Yeah, uh, so do you remember that time when you found out that your copy of Visio that you bought and paid good money for was actually a pirated copy?

Ok, so I did finally scream at my computer. Once.

It didn't make me feel any better.

I started reconstructing my work, but I couldn't stay focused.

And that is why I've just burned an hour and a half blogging.

I still don't feel any better.

And now I'm hungry.

Fuck.

Almost Back...

...to square one, it seems.

I finally gave up trying to fall back asleep after tossing about restlessly for a little over an hour and a half. Residue from the weekend shake-up? I do have a few things on my mind tonight, so that isn't helping.

Just had some hot ovaltine and a few cookies; it remains to be seen whether I'll be able to get up at 7AM to run as previously planned given that I've only gotten about 90 minutes of sleep* so far, with the max limit at 5.5 hours and counting. Down.

Even if I manage it, I'm not expecting to be particularly functional at work tomorrow.

*sigh*

* On a small nerdy positive note, I suppose this reconfirms my understanding that people generally sleep in 90 minute increments; something I just mentioned to the SOOTTAD not 4 hours ago. (Actually, almost exactly 4 hours ago.) Did I mention *sigh*?

sick thoughts

I've been pretty much out of commission since Friday with some kind of bug. I thought I was mostly back yesterday, but I guess I got a little cocky (I saw a client in the afternoon), and ended up almost back to square one last night. Anyway, not really feeling up to doing much else, so just a few thoughts and observations:

• It's probably been the longest that I've been sick since I started having regular acupuncture treatments almost two years ago. I'm pleased that I've only had a moderate cold maybe once in the last year, but I guess I'm kind of bummed that I've been laid up for over 3 days now. It makes me wonder whether the new assistant who works at the clinic doesn't have the same skills as the previous one or if maybe I need to reiterate that one of my original treatment goals was to keep my immune system up to snuff.
• Does anyone else find that they can't remember what it's like to feel healthy when they're sick? Over the weekend, I kept noticing myself doing little check-ins: Am I better now? How 'bout now? Is this better? Is this how normal feels? It's like a bunch of kids on a road trip asking "are we there yet?" Answer: no. (Also interesting that the opposite is true.)
• It figures that the nicest weather we had in the last week was yesterday and the day before when it got into the 40s. I was finally starting to ramp up the miles and was looking forward to a longer run on Saturday and I ended up not leaving the house. I barely left the bedroom.
• It also figures that I'm sick over the weekend. Of course, it was probably the stress from preparing for a meeting on Thursday that pushed me over the edge in the first place.
• Started reading the Golden Compass series. I'm enjoying it so far, but it's kind of a bummer when reading makes me tired. Geez, when am I supposed to find time to read if not when I'm home sick? Sucking it up and reading anyway. Probably part of why I'm still sick today.
• Being able to sleep on and off all day -- good.
• Not being able to fall asleep at night after sleeping on and off all day -- not good.

Also, less computing -- good... So I'm signing off now.

Later folks.

Goodbye, old friend

Goodbye, old friend
Originally uploaded by tallasiandude.