L.A., Q.T. and connection

This all started because it felt like L.A. was somehow trying to get my attention.

Even though I grew up there, I didn't really know the city. And perhaps because of that, I wasn't particularly fond of it. But like Manhattan, all it takes is someone who knows the city to show you its secrets, the hidden gems, the magic. And so over the years, as I've gone back for holidays, vacations and the occasional wedding, I've gotten to see the good points of the city. When I'm in town, I'll get together with my old high school gang and we'll go out to swank eateries in Venice, on the west side and elsewhere about town. Hedge, in particular, has been introducing me to Silverlake and Echo Park. I don't really hate L.A. anymore. I still don't think I want to move back, but if that becomes an eventuality someday, I could think of worse places to end up.

So I've recently wandered into the Blogosphere; for real this time, not just a peek here and there during idle moments. And there(here), I met Wil Wheaton (an L.A. native) who introduced me to blogging.la. And then recently, a random link sent me over to Blogdex which subsequently brought me to Hollywoodlog.com. And I found myself back in L.A. with this story about meeting Quentin Tarantino.

“That’s a dynamite purse. Where’d you get it?” As I turned to respond to the question and the little bells in my head went off alerting me to the fact that the voice I heard sounded just like Quentin…oh my God I would recognize that big bell pepper of a head anywhere…Tarantino!

Now how cool would that be? Randomly meeting, and then hanging out with, the creator of Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill? Well, I dunno. It's only once in a rare moment that I can make engaging conversation with people I don't already know. Hell, it's a rare moment that I can make engaging conversation with people I do know. It does seem fabulously cool for something like that to happen, but when I actually stop and think about it, it does start to feel a bit like the trappings of Fanboy. And that's not really me.

I've never been much of a fan. Not "I've never liked that-famous-person very much" just not "omigod omigod it's that-other-famous-person!" I mean, in general, I've never been one to play favorites. Friends. Music. Movies. "Movie stars." It makes those profiles kind of hard to fill out sometimes. But from what little I read about Q, it seems like it'd be really cool to have him as a friend. He seems really engaging and fun to hang out with. I'd love to see his kung-fu collection. He's so cool, yet in a frenetic, spazzy (human) kind of way.

But what makes it more interesting to have *him* as a friend over all of my *actual* friends who are really cool and engaging and fun to hang out with? [ok, so maybe none of them drive the Pussy Wagon] I've thought about this with my whole Wil Wheaton obsession (I swear I'm gonna write about that eventually) and the best I can come up with is that it's an attraction to celebrity. But what is that, really?

It's not like I'm trying to grab my own 15 minutes of fame or anything. (At least, I don't think it is.) It's not hero-worship. I don't want to be them.

But perhaps there is a desire to get a piece of the good life. To be a part of it, to be connected, to be in, however vicarious it might be. And maybe that's just my conceit: connection. And it doesn't have to be a part of the good life even. It just has to be a part. I'm not really a joiner, but I still want to be a part of things.

Perhaps it's because growning up, I was pretty introverted. And despite having incongruous memories of having friends and going out and doing things in groups, I can still remember an overwhelming feeling of quiet, alone, by myself, because of shy, embarrassed, don't know how to talk to people.

And I don't think it even needs to be rooted in childhood influences. There is a quote that I can't quite remember that talks about how even when we are together with other people, fundamentally we are always still alone inside our heads. With some very close friends, I might have an inking of what they might be thinking, but I never really know for sure. Educated guesses at best. Wild speculation more likely. Perhaps I dwell on that unduly. I'm neurotic; I can't help it. (It goes both ways too, but that's a whole other discussion.)

So perhaps life (at least for me) is about building and reinforcing these connections, striving for understanding, for company. And maybe with the public figure, so much of their life is visible, it becomes easy to think you know them well, even when you know it's only an illusion. And perhaps it's just an illusion that I'm not as connected to my friends as I really am. One can only hope.

But it'd still be cool to be friends with Quentin Tarantino.